Jackie Zach
July 22, 2024
Mike McKay and Jackie Zach tackle the concept of “tough love” on this episode of the Tough Love for Business podcast. Mike recounts a recent experience where his direct approach was perceived as harsh. He emphasizes that true coaching involves pushing clients out of their comfort zones to help them achieve their goals. He explains that while some may label this approach as “mean,” it is actually essential for growth and overcoming obstacles. The goal is to challenge clients to confront their excuses and commit to taking action, which ultimately leads to significant improvements and success.
Jackie adds that many people actually seek out this kind of accountability, despite initial discomfort. She highlights how this approach has led to positive outcomes, such as improved management skills and better business results. Mike reinforces that accountability, even if it feels uncomfortable, is crucial for personal and professional growth. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to experience this transformative approach through strategy sessions, underscoring that pushing through discomfort can lead to achieving one’s goals and becoming a better business owner.
Are you having trouble holding people accountable because you feel mean? Take advantage of a complimentary business strategy session to discover the opportunities in your business! https://actioncoachwi.com/podcast-ask-a-question-complimentary-session/
Podcast Transcript
Mike McKay: Welcome to the Tough Love for Business podcast. I’m mean Mike McKay, and with me is my not-so-mean co-host, Jackie Zach. What’s up, Jackie?
Jackie Zach: Not much. You had a daily dose where you talked about people saying you were mean, and I thought it would make a great podcast topic. So, Mike, tell me more about that.
Mike: Well, we were discussing how some people struggle with not even starting on their goals, just the initial steps. I basically told them they could hang up and call me back when they’ve done it. Otherwise, they could quit coaching. And if they’re not going to follow through, that’s fine with me. Their response was that it felt mean.
The conversation went something like this: They said they didn’t realize how emotionally challenging it was. My response? I do understand, but that’s not the point. This isn’t about emotion. You wanted to achieve something big that would positively impact your family and employees. You keep avoiding it. You’re just resisting the pressure to do something different, and that’s understandable, but I don’t care. You said you were going to do it. So, are you going to do it or not? They kept giving excuses, but eventually, they got closer to commitment. Even though they were full of excuses, they were inching towards realizing they had to act. I told them, “You don’t have to do this. You can quit coaching and give up on your dreams. Or you can step up and do what you said you’d do.”
We have a term called “Nice,” which means not caring enough to tell someone what they really need to hear. It’s not our job to be nice. Nobody pays us to let them off the hook.
Jackie: It’s interesting because, based on feedback, people often want us to be tougher on them. They want us to be, quote, unquote, mean.
Mike: Nothing happens in your comfort zone. You can’t learn or expand your capabilities if you stay comfortable. People often say, “That’s just how I am,” or “That’s how people are.” But those are just excuses for sticking with outdated beliefs. Everything is changeable, but it requires pressure. We don’t want it, so we label it as uncomfortable or mean, but growth requires pressure. Sometimes it feels like someone is being mean, but it’s necessary for growth.
Jackie: So, did the person end up doing it?
Mike: Yes, of course they did. They did exactly what they needed to because they wanted me to coach them. The result was as expected: they had to address a couple of issues with an employee, which led to the employee leaving on good terms. The owner was able to handle these conversations better in the future. It’s always uncomfortable to face new challenges, but overcoming them leads to growth. Sometimes, a slight improvement can make a huge difference, like in a horse race where a fraction of a second can mean millions. In business, those little skills and improvements can outpace competitors significantly.
Jackie: Being a business owner often means there’s no one challenging you or holding you accountable, unlike employees who usually have management for that.
Mike: Sometimes, business owners don’t fully grasp management. A single complaint about micromanagement can make them panic and abandon their responsibility to manage effectively. There’s an owner I know who has thrived over the years, thanks to coaching. She’s seen tremendous success, and others admire her achievements. She said that anyone can achieve similar results with a coach and the right decisions. The perceived meanness isn’t truly mean. It’s about holding clients accountable and helping them reach their goals. If you want a competitive edge, you need that accountability.
Jackie: Accountability is indeed a competitive edge.
Mike: Exactly. If you want a real competitive edge, you have to want it yourself. I had a dream recently and realized that we don’t need to worry about marketing too much. The results we get with clients are outstanding. But you need to want success yourself and be willing to be pushed. Just like in sports, it’s not the friendly coach who gets the best results, but the one who pushes you to keep going. If you call that mean, so be it. It comes from a place of wanting the best for our clients.
Jackie: And the person who thought you were mean still achieved the result they needed and moved past their discomfort to become a better business owner.
Mike: I don’t like it when Bruce is tough on me, but I do it. What I dislike even more is not getting the results I want because I avoided accountability. There’s no example of greatness without ongoing growth. Even someone like LeBron James invests heavily in his training and recovery. He doesn’t enjoy every part of it, but it’s necessary. Meanness, if you want to call it that, is about pushing you to reach your goals.
Jackie: Deep down, everyone wants that push. Most people won’t push themselves, but they need that accountability to grow, whether in business or life. I assume it’s similar to parenting.
Mike: It’s tough because your kids know you won’t abandon them, but it’s the same concept. If you want to see what this “meanness” can do for you, click below and set up a strategy call with Jackie. It might be tough, but it will be beneficial.
Jackie: Absolutely. In strategy sessions, people often find questions they hadn’t considered before. If you want someone to challenge you, a strategy session is for you. Join us next time as we move from mean to fun.